FRIENDS, LOVERS, AND THE BIG TERRIBLE THING
By Matthew Perry
Publisher: Flatiron
The late actor, known for playing Chandler Bing on “Friends,” shares stories from his childhood and his struggles with sobriety.
Review by By The Books Reviewer
Matthew Perry's memoir, "Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing," is a raw and unflinching account of his tumultuous journey through fame, addiction, and personal turmoil. Known globally for his portrayal of Chandler Bing on the iconic sitcom "Friends," Perry pulls back the curtain to reveal the stark realities that lay behind the laughter.
From the outset, Perry's narrative is harrowing. He begins with a near-death experience in 2018 when his colon ruptured due to opioid abuse, leading to a coma and a grueling recovery period. This incident serves as a grim entry point into his decades-long battle with alcoholism and drug dependency. Perry candidly shares that he detoxed 65 times and spent over $9 million in his quest for sobriety. His honesty is commendable, yet the repetitive recounting of rehab stints and relapses can become overwhelming for the reader. ([theguardian.com](https://www.theguardian.com/books/2022/nov/07/friends-lovers-and-the-big-terrible-thing-by-matthew-perry-addiction?utm_source=openai))
The memoir also delves into Perry's early life, highlighting feelings of abandonment stemming from his parents' divorce and his subsequent move between Canada and Los Angeles. These experiences, coupled with an insatiable desire for fame, paint a picture of a man constantly seeking validation. His reflections on relationships are particularly revealing; he admits to sabotaging connections, including a notable one with Julia Roberts, out of fear of rejection. Such admissions showcase a level of self-awareness, though they also underscore a pattern of self-destructive behavior. ([theguardian.com](https://www.theguardian.com/books/2022/nov/16/friends-lovers-and-the-big-terrible-thing-by-matthew-perry-review-being-chandler-bing?utm_source=openai))
Perry's writing style is conversational, often infused with the same wit that endeared him to audiences as Chandler. However, this humor sometimes feels misplaced, especially when juxtaposed against the gravity of his experiences. Additionally, certain passages come across as self-congratulatory, with frequent mentions of his wealth and status. A particularly jarring moment is his remark questioning why "original thinkers" like River Phoenix and Heath Ledger died while Keanu Reeves "walks among us." This unnecessary dig not only feels petty but also detracts from the memoir's overall sincerity. ([theguardian.com](https://www.theguardian.com/books/2022/nov/07/friends-lovers-and-the-big-terrible-thing-by-matthew-perry-addiction?utm_source=openai))
Critically, the memoir has been described as both fascinating and maddening. While Perry's openness is laudable, the book's structure is disjointed, making it challenging to follow his journey cohesively. Furthermore, some readers might find the relentless focus on his struggles without substantial resolution to be exhausting. ([theguardian.com](https://www.theguardian.com/books/2022/nov/16/friends-lovers-and-the-big-terrible-thing-by-matthew-perry-review-being-chandler-bing?utm_source=openai))
In conclusion, "Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing" offers an unvarnished look into the life of a man who, despite achieving immense success, grappled with profound personal demons. While Perry's transparency is noteworthy, the memoir's execution leaves much to be desired. It's a sobering reminder that fame and fortune do not equate to happiness or fulfillment. For those interested in the darker side of celebrity and the complexities of addiction, this book provides insight, albeit in a somewhat chaotic manner.
Final recommendation: Read with caution.
Recommendation: Read with caution.
written on: 11/12/2026