By The Book Reviews

Review by By The Books Reviewer

Arundhati Roy's memoir, "Mother Mary Comes to Me," is a masterful exploration of the tumultuous relationship between the author and her formidable mother, Mary Roy. Known for her groundbreaking novel "The God of Small Things," Roy now turns her incisive prose inward, offering readers an unflinching look at the complexities of maternal bonds and personal identity.

Mary Roy emerges as a paradoxical figure: a trailblazing educator and women's rights activist in India, yet a mother whose methods were often harsh and unorthodox. She insisted her children address her as "Mrs. Roy," blurring the lines between maternal warmth and professional detachment. Her severe asthmatic condition became a tool for emotional manipulation, with threats of her imminent death used to discipline her children. Such tactics left indelible marks on Arundhati, who recalls, "Anything I said those days ended in a storm of insults and anger. And asthma. And blame about being the cause of Mrs. Roy’s impending death." ([washingtonpost.com](https://www.washingtonpost.com/books/2025/09/04/arundhati-roy-mother-mary-comes-me-memoir-review/?utm_source=openai))

Despite the emotional turmoil, Mary Roy's influence on her daughter was profound. She introduced Arundhati to literature, gifting her a typewriter and instilling a belief that she could achieve anything she set her mind to. This encouragement propelled Arundhati from a challenging childhood in Kerala to the heights of literary acclaim. However, the memoir does not shy away from the darker aspects of their relationship. Incidents such as Mary abandoning a young Arundhati on a highway or having her pet dog killed for mating with a street dog are recounted with raw honesty, painting a portrait of a mother whose love was as punishing as it was empowering. ([ft.com](https://www.ft.com/content/621ca5b7-0869-4646-b18a-b6b90b26b9e7?utm_source=openai))

Roy's narrative is both intimate and expansive, weaving personal anecdotes with broader reflections on Indian society and politics. Her prose is characteristically elegant, capturing the nuances of filial love and the scars it can leave. The memoir is not a mere recounting of events but a deep dive into the psyche of a woman shaped by both affection and adversity.

Critics have lauded the memoir for its candidness and depth. Kirkus Reviews describes it as "an intimate, stirring chronicle," while Publishers Weekly highlights Roy's ability to balance an account of her mother's impressive résumé with a portrait of her emotional volatility. ([kirkusreviews.com](https://www.kirkusreviews.com/book-reviews/arundhati-roy/mother-mary-comes-to-me/?utm_source=openai))

In "Mother Mary Comes to Me," Arundhati Roy offers a searing, unvarnished look at the complexities of mother-daughter relationships, set against the backdrop of a changing India. It's a memoir that challenges, enlightens, and resonates long after the final page.

Recommendation: Highly recommended!

written on: 9/11/2025